I’m having the best sex of my life with another woman but I’ve just discovered she’s my boyfriend’s mum

DEAR DEIDRE:I HAVE had the best sex ever with another woman but I have just discovered she is my boyfriend’s mum.

I am 28. This woman and I met quite by chance a few months ago at a crafting weekend and right from the start there was a spark between us.


We sat together, laughed and joked and I could tell she was also flirting with me. She is a very attractive 45.

If anyone had told me beforehand that I would respond I would have been horrified, but I found myself flirting back.

We arranged to meet for a drink the next week and she came back to mine for a coffee.

We cracked open a bottle of wine and she had too much to be able to drive, so she phoned home to explain and stayed over.

We had sex and it was amazing and I am not even a lesbian.


She is the only woman I have ever been with. Although I know I am straight, I really love being with her.

I didn’t say anything about her to my boyfriend but things have been progressing with him.

He is 26 and we’ve been together for three months. He invited me to a meal with his parents.

I was really looking forward to the evening but imagine my shock and horror when I walked in and was introduced to my lover.

I don’t know how we both managed to act like we’d never met.


In spite of the situation we had a lovely evening and even managed to exchange a few words alone at one point.

She has texted me since and wants to go on meeting, but I keep thinking I should break it off with her.

It’s going well with my boyfriend. I don’t want to break with him and family get-togethers could only ever be awkward.

On the other hand, surely what my boyfriend and his dad do not know cannot hurt them.

DEIDRE SAYS:It would be hard enough if it were just your secret but it is your lover’s, too.

You risk losing your boyfriend, but she is deceiving two of her nearest and dearest – who might hold you to blame.

Secrets and lies will be part of carrying on as you are and it is only a matter of time before one of you gets careless and lets something slip.

So you have to make a choice. Do you – and does your boyfriend’s mum – want to rip up the life you know?

If that’s not what you both want, stop anything more happening between you now.

If you realise you are seriously attracted to women my e-leaflet on Bisexual Issues will help.

Or was sex with the mum better than with your boyfriend simply because she knows what works for a woman?

In that case my e-leaflet Thrilling A Woman In Bed could help you help him to get it right.

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